Pose until you’re posing a threat

How I wish I had spray tanned today!

Holy mood swings bat girl! It’s begging to happen again where I start feeling some self pity over the things I can’t eat right now. It’s really stupid actually, but I think most people who prep for fitness competitions know what I’m talking about.

Everyone’s talking about their pizza, posting photos about their ice cream, blatantly drinking wine in a restaurant in full view as I pass by on my way to the gym. Jerks all of you! As stupid as it is to feel animosity towards normal people doing normal things, it seems to be an inevitable stage of training. I have to remind myself: I can have those things. I just choose not to. It’s very important to remember that.

I could just take a break for a day and have pizza and wine. Then not look my best and place poorly in the show. Or I could stick to my diet, place poorly but not beat myself up about falling off the wagon.

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Journey to the bottom of the storage locker.

Well today was one of the happier parts of prep: a posing coaching session. This is when you’re reminded of the fun competing can be and serves as a reminder of why you’re giving up on short-term pleasures like food. You get to don your bikini and stripper shoes (found them, by the way!) and think about the excitement of being on stage.

If you’ve never done this before, I can’t emphasize enough how important it is to get a posing coach. More importantly, a posing coach who knows what he or she is doing. You might think competing is all about the diet and the exercise. That’s about half of the equation. The other half is being able to show it all of. You’re being judged on your walk, smile, confidence, etc.

This turned out to be the biggest challenge for me the first time around. I had recently lost the weight I’d been carrying for many years, and while I knew I had finally achieved a fit-looking figure, part of my brain was still not convinced. I think for most people, the task of strutting about in a tiny bikini in front of strangers is not a natural thing to do, much less look like you’re enjoying it. But that’s what the show is all about, and it is a show after all, so you have to see yourself as both an athlete and performer.

So today I drove to Pickering to meet with my very favourite posing coach, Fedel Clarke. Yup, that’s right, the best bikini posing coach in town is a dude. And a big one at that as a top bodybuilder and former football player. He’s also a judge with the Ontario Physique Association so he knows exactly what judges are looking for. And he’s brutally honest. It really goes a long way to know what to do with your hands and feet when you’re on stage and this is the man who can drill it in your brain.

Prepping for the competition becomes a lot more fun as you start to get ready for the stage. Don’t get me wrong, if I see you with wine you will get stink eye from me, but the closer I get the more it seems worth the temporary restraint. But seriously, keep your wine away from me or I will cry.

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